You surprised us all with your demise-caught us all, caught me unsuspecting. I’d been concerned, but not seriously enough to pick up the phone more often, to reach out across the silence to let you know I was listening-that I did see you-did hear your pain, that I could be there to sit with you if you needed.

The surprise demise was your story to tell-but not your only story-there are so many more than your final one. There are more tales told by you, and so many about you-Your life, your Love, your Light.

“I thought she was the strong one.”

Don’t you see, she was the strongest one, for all she endured and overcame-all the fires she survived, all the changes she traversed. She was so strong.

But even strength can snap-even the strongest Crystal shatters-too much strength becomes a weakness, when vulnerability is fearfully guarded and the illusion of strength lends itself to isolation.

The surprise demise allowed no time for preparations-no gradual farewells or “planning” for the final days. You were the event planner for your own event-there was nothing random in those last moments.

Now 8 months since that day, I find my heart unthawing from the freezing shock of your surprise. The world will always be strange without you in it. I see your photos and I am reminded again there will be nothing new of you, of us. I wear the shawl you gave me, and  I feel you still. Having survived your surprise demise, I find ways to celebrate your presence-to honor your essence and your Souls journey, as well as our path together. I thank you, I miss you, I release you, and I love you.